A TCK world

I've read a couple of interesting articles lately about being a TCK--Third Culture Kid. For those of you who haven't seen my definition previously, a TCK is someone who spent a significant portion of their childhood years living outside of their "passport culture".

I think "passport culture" is one of my favorite terms. It's not necessarily where you a "from", it's the place where your citizenship originates.

I came back to my passport culture, the US, after spending 8 years in Uganda. I certainly would not have called what I found home. A lot of people asked me if I was glad to be home, and I would smile and nod. People would ask me if I liked the US, and I would smile and nod. They would ask if I liked Uganda, and I would smile and nod. They would apologize for the fact I had to live in Africa, and I would smile and nod. They would say they were glad to have me back with all of my experiences, and I would smile and nod.
Smile and nod.
Smile and nod.
I'm very good at smiling and nodding.
Not that any one of those things are lies. I am glad to be back in the US. I did also like Uganda. But there were challenges, in both countries

I think the two biggest challenges I faced were summarized well in the two articles I have read lately. TCK Bigotry and TCK envy.

TCK Bigotry means that we judge our own culture... we think that we have so much knowledge of the world that no one can rival us. And so we look down on the people who try.
"I'm sorry, but unless you're experience can top mine, you don't know what you're talking about"
"Let me educate you on the way the world works".
These are instincts. They are basic, they are the way one reacts when confronted with what feels like a great amount of ignorance about the world. As the article says, we become that which we despise: we become narrow-minded.
I have found that the most important way for us to counteract this is to think about what we don't know. I don't know what it's like to receive government food stamps and receive free or reduced lunch, but now I'm surrounded by people who do. I don't know what it's like to have a parent deployed to Afghanistan, but if you do, will you tell me what it's like? I don't know what it's like to come from a home full of divorce and abuse. I should learn how the world looks through your eyes. This is a hard conclusion to come to, and honestly is one that I'm just reaching now.

TCK envy is probably the most gut-wrenching of them all. Someone talks about getting to travel somewhere, and my first thought is "that's not fair, it should be me". It comes from missing my country so much that I can't breathe some times, and the thought of someone getting to see something remotely like it is hard. I go to the Seatac airport and I know that if I go just a few terminals down I will be able to get on a plane to take me home. And it's hard seeing the people who get to go to the international terminal.

I really struggled in my first months back in the US. I struggled to fit in, to incorporate my memories of Uganda with what I was learning about the US. Throughout an emotionally challenging class on war--in which I will admit that I believed I was the only one with a valid point of view--my TCK bigotry was horrible. It made me feel disgusting, but I was so convinced that no one could understand my world.

So the question becomes how I can see this, how I can write a post like this. Well, it happened in a couple of anthropology courses. I started them off with a lot of bigotry, but as time went on, I noticed that we were looking at the US through an anthropological lens. It's just as important to study the US. It's just as important to know this culture.

Ah, there's the key, the secret. It's a culture. It has just as much validity as Ugandan culture. So, what if I approached it with the attitude I approached Uganda with? An open mind, and a willingness to learn? If I could do it when I was 10, why couldn't I do it at 18? And along with that, if I could study Native American culture, then I certainly could study American culture. It's just a matter of paying attention, and recognizing when you are being ethnocentric--or convinced that your culture is better than someone else's.

I'm not going to pretend that I have it under control. But this is me, 10 months and 22 days into my American cultural journey, and I am excited by what I have learned and everything that comes with this place.