A Revolution in my head: The most honest blog post I have ever written

Close your eyes and take my hand
Throw out what the teacher said
The revolution's in my head
The revolution's in my head
Raise the mast and set your sails

Just say when,
Just say when,
Just say when,
Just say when,
Go!

I've got a fever that I can't control
I'm knee-deep and I don't even know my name
I forgot about it.
I'm on fire, I'm a burning coal,
We can't fight it 'cause we never sold the flame,
Not for love or money.

Close your eyes and take my hand
Silenced by the driving sound
The revolution's in my head
The revolution's in my head
Raise your fist, and stand your ground
Go!

"Revo"--Walk Off the Earth

So this may be the most honest blog post I have ever written. Ready?

So am I.

I have four anxiety disorders, Major Depression, and I just learned two days ago that I have ADD.

Do you see me any differently?

I kind of see myself differently. I see my spaciness and intense focus and lack of ability to concentrate as having a reason. I see my nervousness as having a reason.

See, my psychiatrist explained it to me as these things that we now call “disorders” as having been selected-for traits in human evolution, when we were “desert for predators”.  I would have been one of the lucky few who survived.

Yes, I am different from a lot of people. But I am also the same as a lot of people. I am part of a special, quirky community. I’m not exactly normal, but I don’t want to be. My orders (note that I say orders, not disorders) cause me to be more loving, more passionate, and just special.

I used to see the anxiety and depression as weaknesses. I refuse to see them that way again.

I'm not going to lie, it's hard. Sometimes I get discouraged. But that's half the battle.

There’s a revolution in my head. And that’s ok. Because I love being different. 

I want to end on a high note. Just to expand on the biology, there’s a concept known as “emergent properties”. This means that the whole is greater than the sum of all of its parts. We have special things in us that make us who we are, but we are so much more. God’s Spirit makes me His child, and I am happy with who I am.

So I’ve got a few lemons, a few limes, and the Spirit of Christ to make it a little less bitter.

I’m different. So are you. Will you accept that about yourself, or hide your light under a bushel?