Voices. Loud Voices.

Everything in the world clamors at us, attempting to get us to listen. Music plays, planting thoughts of romance or of drug addicts. The Bible clamors for attention with comforting words and promises, along with much needed convictions and rebukes. Within 30 seconds of scrolling through Facebook I saw “Blessed is she who believed there would be a fulfillment of what had been spoken to her by the Lord” and another post “Listen to your soul”. Meanwhile TV is trying to tell us that it’s not really so bad to sleep around. Ads on your Facebook make you crazy as they claim to have the miracle pill for weight loss, and you end up losing $100 meanwhile you’re craving the chocolate cake and ice-cream you can get for a few bucks just up the road.

It’s a mad house.

I know I’m not the first to complain about all of the loud noise of America. But here’s what I miss:

The power goes out, as does the internet and water. For tonight, at least, there is nothing you can do. You wear an “ear light”, which is basically a mini flashlight you wear over your ear. So it makes you look like the Borg, but at least you can read a good book. The candlelight flickers on the wall, making the cast iron figures dance in praise.  Before bed you read the Bible, and the deep words speak straight to you. You don’t have anything else to compare it to, so you just let it sink in.

I miss those intimate moments with God. I miss the lack of distraction. I miss knowing that you are utterly powerless.

What I miss the most though is the stars. It’s always the stars. After a rainstorm that knocked out all of the power lines and the pump that brings water to your house the sky is clear. No lights obscure it, no smog fills the sky. Pin-pricks of light entrance you everywhere you look. And in that moment, you realize though you are smaller even than the stars and about as noticeable to God as an ant you were created for a purpose. Maybe it’s to help another ant get over the wall, it doesn’t really matter right now. What matters is that God sent his son to die for you, and you feel the peace and depth of love deeply.

What gets to me most about all of the noise and loud voices surrounding me right now is that it drowns out my own voice. Maybe I would have something to say if I didn't have to use a megaphone. Maybe I would hear and be heard if we could just narrow it down. The worst part, by far, is that everyone else's individual voice is buried. Your pain, your joy, your love, it's all hidden in fake Facebook statuses and 140 word tweets. We become part of a machine. 

The song below sums up how I feel perfectly. I just want some quiet.

My mind is filled today with everything clamoring for attention. I have no peace. Nightmares fill my brain while I’m listening to music, while I’m writing papers, while I’m eating.

God could be screaming some life saving message right now and I wouldn’t hear it. The worst part is that my mind is so busy and so full, I can’t even hear the thoughts I need to sort through these nightmares because they just don’t rank as high as everything else I have to do. The noise traps me in, and signals that I will not escape. What else is there to do other than keep busy? I wish I could say the background noise was all harmless, but it really isn’t.

My honest question is: "Where is the hope? Where is the peace?" Because I'm looking around and I just don't see it. I want to hear God whisper hope into my heart, but it's too noisy to hear a whisper.