A Hand Shake

One of the elderly members of the church shook my hand today during the Peace. Without thinking, I placed my left hand on my right forearm. Thankfully I stopped just short of greeting him with "Peace, Mzee" as I would greet a white haired man in Uganda.

Flashback.

I would hate to be judged by the girl I was a year ago.

I was shy, socially inept, and very worldly aware yet unable to process all of the information my brain stored. I was immature; too afraid to state my own views. The process of leaving Uganda, which had become my home, left me so emotionally vulnerable that all I could do was think about and miss Uganda. I fell into unhealthy relationships and messed up pretty seriously in a couple of ways. 

Flashforward: second chances.

This year I get to be the girl I was trying to be all of last year. I get to be the one who speaks up in her classes while learning, not because she thinks she knows more about the world than her classmates. I get to have reasoned conversations about various parts of the world, and admit that I don't know things. I get to learn. I get to be a good friend. I get to let my faith lead me, instead of the other way around.

I hope I can be all of these things. No, I know I can, for all things are possible through Christ who gives me strength.

Last year I started the year wanting to bury my head in the sand, not sure of who I was. This year I am starting with my head held high, and I KNOW the following:

I am a beloved daughter of God.

I have purpose and direction.

My past is part of my story. It has a place, but it's not all of it.

I will always be part Ugandan at heart. And I love it.

Home is not nowhere, it is everywhere. I will really be home when I reach Heaven.

I have true friends, and I don't have to work to gain their approval.

I'm grateful today for my true friends. I just chatted with one of them, who commented on how much I've grown up. True friends give you second chances to bloom into who you really are, and they see that bud through all of the crud surrounding it. I'm grateful for the friends who stuck by my side. 

I am a youth leader, and I hope to be a thoroughly nonjudgemental leader who can deal with the youth in a fun and engaging way.

Do I still have room to grow? Yes. Do I need as much help as I can get? Yes. Will I fall flat on my face sometimes? YES! Yes and I will continue to rejoice for I know that through your prayers and the help of the spirit of the Lord Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. (Philipians 1:19).

September 2012

              July 2013